What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?...
...He'd go to a 're-tail' shop for a new one! 

What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?
...Nothing he just waved!

Two snowmen in the garden, one says to the other:
...Can you smell carrots?

Why did Santa's helper need counselling?
...because he had low ELF-esteem!

Why does Santa go down the chimney ?
...Because it soots him !

What do you get when you eat the Christmas decorations?
....Tinsel-itus.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
...He wanted to win the "No-bell" prize!

Why don't polar bears eat penguins?
...Because they cannot get the wrappers off!

What is sweet and musical?
...'I sing' sugar!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!

Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

Which are the cleverest sweets?
...Smarties!

What does a vampire have for breakfast?
...Readyneck!